No one messes with Jesus

 Although the second coming is often mentioned in the bible, the exact details of it are not well known.  For example, most Christians do not realize that Jesus is going to be throw back to earth by the hand of God, and drop kick a group of archaeologists in the head. 

Original link: http://mattstone.blogs.com/photos/christian_art_latin_ameri/mexico-jesus.jpg

Original artist: Don't have a clue.

Title: Mexico Jesus (?)

Boy for sale.

And Jesus said to them, "For how much for the boy?  He is of strong stock and of good mind.  For is this boy not made in the Father's image?  Surely he is.  And but who is a better worker than the Father?  Do I not hear twenty pieces of silver for this boy?"



Original painter: Carl Heinrich Bloch (May 23, 1834 – February 22, 1890)

Painting: Christ and Boy.

Jesus of Newark

Jesus of Newark said unto them, "Come at me, Bro."

God looked at his check list.

1. Tell Noah to built an ark. Check.

2. Two of every mammal.  Check.
3. Two of every clean animal. Check
4.  Two of every dinosaur.  Shit.

Well, 3 out of 4 ain't that bad.

The price of sin.

Little Sarah smiled.  Jesus smiled.  But little Sarah was a sinner.  And the wages of sin was death.  A loud snap and a broken neck latter, this was one kid's sermon that no child forgot.

Jesus is a bitch.

And Jesus look at the cross little Susan made for him.  She had poor all of her love and faith into making it.  Jesus put his sunglasses back on and said, "I wouldn't be caught dead on hideous thing. and I am not being ironic."  Little Susan burst into tears. 

Yes, Jesus was a hipster bitch.

Greatest Quarterback Ever.

 

For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten quaterback, so that the world may know what a  QB rating of 20.6 looks like.