Tuesday, January 10, 2012

In Heaven, they still need the Ozone layer.


No one dead or alive ever realized the full damage that 1980's Christian hair-metal did, until someone noticed a hole in the ozone layer above Heaven. Now, God's chosen have a 37.8% increase in their chances of getting skin cancer.

Jesuzilla

They said that Israel's nuclear test by the Dead Sea would awake geo-political turmoil never before seen in the region. But that is not what the radiation awoke from the deep. Not only did it bring forth Jesuzilla and lay waste to Jerusalem, but it ripped a hole in the fabric of space itself and caused the moon to become a mini earth......

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Bad, bad trip.



Only later, when the acid wore off, did God realize what he had done. The wells of the deep were open. The windows of heaven were open. There was water everywhere. And the dolls floating dead in the water weren't dolls.

Original work at :http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=product&id=brokendolls

Friday, January 6, 2012

Float like a bee, sting like a butterfly.

While exceeding at many aspects of life, Jesus's boxing career will be remembered as a great disappointment. Although naturally skilled and very athletic, Jesus's "turn the other cheek" approach will go down as the worst boxing strategy of all time.

Original image at: http://www.art4god.com/html/?go=product&id=15

Thursday, January 5, 2012

The baptism of Jesus


There is absolutely nothing homo-erotic about two grown men bathing each other. Really. I'm serious. Nothing homo-erotic here. Just because after John "baptized" Jesus, and the "holy spirit" "descended" on Jesus, there is nothing homo-erotic here. The flaming cum-wad from heaven on the other hand, totally homo-erotic.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Transmutation


Contrary to Catholic doctrine, the wafer does not actually turn into the flesh of Jesus Christ. However, according to quantum theory, the wafer has a 1 in 1.34 * 10^60 chances of randomly turning into pure LSD. And Little Susie here just won the lottery.